College of Mystical Clowning
This is the college that some have named the High Magick of Low Humor. Many of these spells are very ancient, and despite their whimsical origins can be quite useful in practical situations. They
have fallen out of general use, however, not so much for their undignified nature as for their limitations and Saving Roll allowances. Nonetheless, they continue to be popular for their original intents, and this college exists to preserve these specialized examples of the mystic arts.
A wizard must be at least Second Level to attend this college. The tuition is 2000 gp; the seminar equires one full week of intense study and an L1 IQ SR is required to pass. Upon successful completion of this course, you will receive the Hotfoot spell. The remainder of the college's spells will be available for you to purchase at the guild.
Note that due to the mischievous nature of the wizards who developed these spells, they have all been carefully designed to suppress any revealing side-effects. These spells are accompanied by no lights or sounds that may give away the prankster.
Level One -- 250 gp
IQ = 10, DX = 8
Hotfoot / [E] / 7 / range 30'
This causes one target to experience the momentary sensation of having a lit match stuck between the toes. This can affect any number of targets, so long as the combined CHA (or MR) does not exceed the caster's IQ. Higher levels double this limit.
StickyFoot / 3 / range 30'
This will glue one target's foot to the ground for a second only (thus if they are not moving, they may never notice). The target's CHA cannot exceed the caster's IQ.
Wedgie / 5 / range 30'
This forcibly yanks one person's pants or underpants up into their personal regions. This will halve their adds for at least one round.
Whisper / [E] / 5 / range 10'
Originally a message spell of limited utility (note the short range), it was eventually used merely for starting brawls. It allows the caster to "project" his voice so that it seems to be coming from a point right next to the target's ear. The spoken message cannot be longer than (caster's IQ) words. Higher levels double the range.
Level Two -- 500 gp
IQ = 12, DX = 9
Antsy / 7 / range 30'
This gives any one person the sensation of ants in the pants; it requires a L2 IQ SR to ignore.
Ass-o-Light / 8 / range 30'
This causes one target's posterior to burst into flames. The fire is purely visual effect and can do no actual damage; the pain, however, is real. The whole event is but momentary, but will cause complete preoccupation for at least one round. The target can completely deflect this spell with a L2 IQ SR.
Giggles / [D] / 10 / range 30'
This affects only one target, inflicting a giggle fit that lasts one round. This reduces all personal adds to zero and increases all SRs by two levels. If the target is under stress at the moment, they are allowed a L2 IQ SR to deflect the spell.
Pepperload / [E] / 5 / range 30'
This will affect one target whose IQ+LK+CHA cannot exceed the caster's (higher levels increase this limit). Their next mouthful of food or drink (if taken within the next round) will be a pure mixture of curry, tabasco, and jalapeño.
Portal Picture / 4 / --
This creates a perfect three dimensional illusion of a passage through a wall or similar barrier. Lasts one (10 minute) turn or until someone bumps into it.
Snuff / [E] / 10 / range 30'
This can affect any number of targets, so long as the total CHA (or MR) does not exceed the caster's IQ (higher levels double this limit). They are inflicted with a sneezing fit that prevents any action for one round.
Level Three -- 1000 gp
IQ = 14, DX = 10
Drop! / [E] / 10 / range 50'
This can affect any number of targets, so long as the total CHA (or MR) does not exceed the caster's IQ (higher levels double this limit). They experience a sudden loss of pantaloon security. This will cause pants or skirts to drop about the ankles; any sort of clothing that fastens about the waist will do -- this won't work on robes, togas, etc.
Dummy Talk / 8 / range 30'
The caster can supply up to (caster's level) words that the target will then speak out loud. The target first gets a L1 IQ SR to resist the impulse; even if the target speaks the words, it will have no effect on the attitude or frame of mind, and he can immediately countermand
it. Some things, however, once said, are difficult to take back.
Miasmal Fart / [E] / 6 / range 30'
This creates a ten foot diameter cloud of the foulest smelling abdominal gases. It is not contained and will dissipate normally. Higher levels double the diameter of the cloud.
Tinkle / [E] / 11 / range 30'
This causes one target, whose CHA cannot exceed the caster's IQ, to immediately lose bladder control. The effect may depend on the target's character, and on how full the bladder was (they get a L3 LK SR to avoid any real distraction). If in combat, they will lose all personal adds for one round.
Twinkle, Twinkle Foolish Gold / 12 / range 50'
This illusion cause all round stones within fifteen feet of the target point to assume the appearance of gold nuggets and coins. Once a person starts picking them up, they get a L3 IQ SR to discover the illusion. Lasts one turn.
Level Four -- 1500 gp
IQ = 16, DX = 11
Eeek! / [D] / 18 / range 30'
This causes one target, whose CHA cannot exceed the caster's IQ, to be suddenly convinced they are completely naked. Lasts one turn.
Whoopie Curses / [D] / 12 / range 30'
This curse causes one target to emit loud farts whenever they sit down -- they are allowed an IQ SR at the caster's level to deflect it completely. The effect lasts until the next sunrise. Higher levels double the number of days.
Level Five -- 2000 gp
IQ = 18, DX = 12
Perfect Portal Picture / 22 / range 30'
This creates the illusion of a passage as in the second level Portal Picture, except that the caster and party may actually pass through it. It disappears when anyone else tries to use it, or after one turn.
Credits: This college owes its existence & most of its less savory spells to Jack Radosevich and family.